We are fast approaching our first “Performance Opportunity” for the 2016-2017 Dance Year. I’m sure there are many who question if your child is ready for something like this. I mean they are only 2, 3, 4 or 5 years old. Is that too young for them to be on a stage and perform in front of strangers? How will they act on the stage? If it doesn’t go well, will that scare them to the point they will never want to do it again?
Should all these questions deter you from signing up your child to perform? The simple answer is NO!
Now don’t get me wrong. You will most likely see tears (mostly from the 2 year old) but that’s because they are experiencing something new. There may be some who do an amazing job in class every week, but once they get in front of a room full of faces they don’t know, they have a different reaction. Some who are very shy in class transform once they are on the stage and can’t get enough of performing. Truth is, even as dance teachers who see their progress each week; we cannot predict what will happen once on stage. The stage is a different environment and each child reacts differently.
Some will get Performance Anxiety (Stage Fright); in fact it is very common among children. This may manifest itself in the form of tears, tantrums and tummy aches. According to Vancouver child psychologist Carla Fry, who specializes in child and adolescent anxiety, the first step in helping your child deal with performance anxiety is to explain these types of jitters are normal. However, you should avoid statements like “Don’t worry about it,” or “You’ll be fine.” Fry says, “Anything that smacks of judgment makes it worse.” While you may be trying to demonstrate that performance anxiety is no big deal, these kinds of comments can send a message that a child is wrong to feel the way he or she does.
Fry also discourages parents from allowing their children to avoid or run away from the situation that makes them anxious. “The knee-jerk reaction for many parents is to write a note to the teacher, or speak to the coach to try to get their child out of the activity, but that’s not the best route in the long run. Unless it’s really extreme, the focus should be on building up kids’ resilience and power to deal.”
So how do you help your child prepare for a performance? How do you react after the show (be it a good or bad performance)? Based on psychological research, the healthiest statements moms and dads can make as they perform are:
Before Performance: Tell them to have fun, try hard and I Love You!
After Performance: Did you have fun? I’m proud of you (if they didn’t perform: I’m proud of you for trying, I’m proud of you for getting on stage, I’m proud of your hard work to learn the dances)! I Love You and I Love to watch you Dance!
That’s it. Praise the Praiseworthy! No pressure. No correction. No judgment. It’s just about the pure love of your child and their ability to try something new or out of their comfort zone.
The rewards of allowing your child to perform include teaching them confidence, self-awareness and how to become good audience members (i.e. sharing/taking turns). These are all traits that carry over into all facets of life.
Should all these questions deter you from signing up your child to perform? The simple answer is NO!
Now don’t get me wrong. You will most likely see tears (mostly from the 2 year old) but that’s because they are experiencing something new. There may be some who do an amazing job in class every week, but once they get in front of a room full of faces they don’t know, they have a different reaction. Some who are very shy in class transform once they are on the stage and can’t get enough of performing. Truth is, even as dance teachers who see their progress each week; we cannot predict what will happen once on stage. The stage is a different environment and each child reacts differently.
Some will get Performance Anxiety (Stage Fright); in fact it is very common among children. This may manifest itself in the form of tears, tantrums and tummy aches. According to Vancouver child psychologist Carla Fry, who specializes in child and adolescent anxiety, the first step in helping your child deal with performance anxiety is to explain these types of jitters are normal. However, you should avoid statements like “Don’t worry about it,” or “You’ll be fine.” Fry says, “Anything that smacks of judgment makes it worse.” While you may be trying to demonstrate that performance anxiety is no big deal, these kinds of comments can send a message that a child is wrong to feel the way he or she does.
Fry also discourages parents from allowing their children to avoid or run away from the situation that makes them anxious. “The knee-jerk reaction for many parents is to write a note to the teacher, or speak to the coach to try to get their child out of the activity, but that’s not the best route in the long run. Unless it’s really extreme, the focus should be on building up kids’ resilience and power to deal.”
So how do you help your child prepare for a performance? How do you react after the show (be it a good or bad performance)? Based on psychological research, the healthiest statements moms and dads can make as they perform are:
Before Performance: Tell them to have fun, try hard and I Love You!
After Performance: Did you have fun? I’m proud of you (if they didn’t perform: I’m proud of you for trying, I’m proud of you for getting on stage, I’m proud of your hard work to learn the dances)! I Love You and I Love to watch you Dance!
That’s it. Praise the Praiseworthy! No pressure. No correction. No judgment. It’s just about the pure love of your child and their ability to try something new or out of their comfort zone.
The rewards of allowing your child to perform include teaching them confidence, self-awareness and how to become good audience members (i.e. sharing/taking turns). These are all traits that carry over into all facets of life.